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honor | reverb

01.23.06 : 12:19

"standing around"

so last night, my parents told me:

1. that i'm not smart
2. that i can't do it, or anything, really
3. that i'm thinking rashly
4. that i'm selfish and don't care about how my decisions impact everyone else
5. that i'm "just not thinking"
6. that i'm only interested in a brand name
7. that it's stupid to want to be challenged in school

so last night, i realized:

1. i have to leave them out of my life
2. any time i ask for support, they tell me i'm wrong
3. that i can't ask for help, because they use it against me

i'm so discouraged i feel ill
all i wanted was an "it's all right if it doesn't work out, but we think you have what it takes."
instead a "why do you think you're so smart? you aren't."

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